1. Get at least three forms of birth control. Use them simultaneously.

2. Change your first name from Casey. Casey is a male and growing up with
a male name might have been hard on you.

3. Do not buy duct tape, no matter how tempting it might be. You might need
it unexpectedly some day and regret doing so.

4. Do your Google searches on a friend’s computer or at the library.

5. Don’t brag to your friends about being a good liar or a slut.

6. Speak Spanish only. If you don’t know Spanish, learn it.

7. Keep gas in your car so you won’t have to borrow a gas can.

8. Don’t use a stolen credit card in a store that has security cameras.

9. Don’t tell anyone you think O.J. is innocent.

10. Quickly get rid of your prison pallor by tanning.