It’s Christmas time and the season when people purchase useless gifts to give to people who have everything. I found these items advertised on regular TV stations, not home shopping channels. If stumbled over these items watching about 2 hours of TV.

Grill Gloves. You can wear these gloves to turn food on a grill by hand. I have never considered tongs all that inconvenient or difficult to use.

Chef Basket. This handy device allows you to drain pasta and other things after cooking. Can you say colander?

Robo Stirrer. This is a battery operated wonder that automatically stirs food in a bowl or a pan. If you need help stirring you’re probably better off eating at McDonalds.

Memory foam pillows. When you lie down on them they conform to the shape of your head. Don’t feather pillows do this too?

Food Saver.  A large and cumbersome device that sucks air out of plastic bags, supposedly increasing the storage life of the contents. Doesn’t plastic wrap do the same thing at a tiny fraction of the cost of this device?

PenCam. A camera in a pen. What’s next, a camera in a phone?

Llama Ya! it was a Spanish language advertisement for some sort of skin care lotions. Without speaking the language I can guarantee it is bogus.

Houdini Verticle Wine Opener, Sealer.  On the infomercial, the thing failed to work properly three times. Don’t these shows have editors?

Ninja Pulse Food Processor. A real ninja would use his samurai sword to chop food.

Polaroid Camera.  Someone needs to introduce these people to the digital age.

InsanityChallenge DVD set. An expensive 12 DVD set that teaches you to do jumping jacks.

Walk Fit Shoe Inserts. A chiropractor in your shoes.

Shark Pocket Mop. Just what I always wanted, a mop in my pocket.

Energy Sheets. Put this paper-like product in your mouth for quick energy. No thanks, I’ll drink a cup of coffee.

Colon Flow. The name says it all.

Rejuva Sea. This is an expensive “skin nutrition” product. Let’s face it, if wrinkles could be removed by applying a lotion, there would be no wrinkles.

Eden Pure heaters. Defies the laws of physics by keeping heat from rising.

Sensa. You sprinkle it on your food and grow thin. I kept thinking the actors in the commercial would suddenly yell” “You’ve been punked!” in unison.

MicroPlus hearing aide. It allows you to overhear what people are saying behind your back. I really don’t want to know.

DermaWand. Give yourself a non-surgical face lift. Can you say “quack medicine?” How stupid do the sellers think women are?

30SecondSmile. For only two easy $29.95 payments you get an electric toothbrush. I think I get get a similar product for $6.99 at Walmart.

TheEasySheet. A fitted sheet. After watching the commercial I still don’t know why this is better than any other fitted sheet. But it must be better, it’s much more expensive.

CarMD. For only $120.00 you get a handy device that plugs into your car’s dashboard and diagnoses any problems or potential problems your car may have. The infomercial says it will keep you from being cheated with unnecessary car repairs. But will it save you from being ripped off by purchasing bogus devices?

Ninja1100. A $15.00 blender for only 4 easy payments of $39.95.

Worx Trivac. A vacuum cleaner for leaves. It also works well on spider webs.

Miracle Spring Water. Buy this from televangelist Peter Popoff and your bills will be paid, checks will show up in your mail box, and foreclosures stopped. It’s a miracle. And by the way, it also cures arthritis.

OmegaXL. Stops aging and prevents heart attacks. What more could anyone want?

Advertisements