The Meaning of Life through the Eyes of a Paranoid

Angst, unsure, self-doubt, farts, balding,

Fear, insecurity, unrequited love,

Self-hate, cloudy skies, gloom, regrets,

Lover gone, dog died, shit my pants.


Tired, listless, hate my dinner, piss,

War, murder, depression, cancer,

Dead baby, blister on my toe, poison,

New wrinkle, itchy balls, hate, fissure.


Lazy, suicide bomber, misspelled words,

Plane crash, arsenic, girlfriend gone,

Humiliation, arrested, embarrassment,

Chinese turkey, cheap cigar, bit my tongue.


Car recalled, double vision, empty smile,

Mysterious rash, lost, insecurity, taxes,

Gained weight, low IQ, stopped watch,

Bounced check, lawyers, fear of flying.


Hookers, rain, slip and fall, scams, guilt,

Bad loan, torn pants, air pollution,

Global warming, taxes, divorce, burns,

Lost keys, stupidity, irritation, solar flares.


Dandruff, bad news, riots, politics,

Poverty, Kardashians, smog, hernia,

Obama, porn, suspicious package, zits,

Life support, bad breath, ugly tattoos, short.


Unfunny joke, clogged drain, dentist,

Wormy chestnuts, wormy brain, wormy stool,

Mold, filth, metro, land mines, nuclear waste,

Stained sheets, noisy neighbors, spoiled milk.


Near miss, skid marks, child labor, India,

Dead flowers, body odor, bad driving,

Sad clowns, shut up, body paint, assholes,

Mauve, taupe, chartreuse, pink, Pink.


Gutter balls, shoddy construction, unhygienic,

Scratched record, big ears, beady eyes,

Say again, shut up, double down, obey,

Drudgery, buggery, assassin, dead battery.


Defenestration, bent nail, running toilet,

Hangover, sour shoes, arthritis, vegetables,

Boredom, Korean food, weakness, crush,

Electric shock, empty bottle, lightening strike.


Small dick, construction noise, ambulance,

Oldies, uneven sidewalk, chicken feet, cracked wall,

Dirt, bruises, missed bus, Diaoyu Islands, porn,

Dry pen, cold weather, dirty glasses, rain.