In the papers today was a story about a Zhejiang woman who killed herself in a car park. I would like to nominate this woman for a Darwin Award.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the Darwins, it is an annual award given to the person who’s accidental self inflicted demise did the most to improve the human gene pool.

The woman, who remained nameless in the stories I read, was trying to back her car into a space in an underground car park. Her husband got out to help direct her. Somehow she crushed him to death between her car and a wall. Then she looked of the car door and crushed her own skull between the car and a wall. She died too.

The couple left two children behind, so I’m not sure that the woman’s death qualifies for a Darwin since they had procreated, spilling their clearly defective DNA into the human gene pool. Still, I’ll submit the story. Who knows?

The first Darwin I remember was awarded to a man who was rocking a soda machine after it failed to give him the drink he’d paid for. It tipped over on him, crushing him to death.

My favorite Darwin was awarded to a man who took his truck and dog onto an ice covered lake to go fishing. Instead of cutting a hole in the ice, this genius lit a stick of dynamite and threw it, hoping it would blow a hole in the ice where he could fish.

His dog, a retriever, ran after the dynamite, picked it up and headed back to his master. Then the man then shot the dog with his shotgun. The dog took shelter under the truck where the dynamite blew up, sending the dog and the truck to the bottom of the lake.

While the man didn’t end his own life, the Darwins made an exception and gave him a special runner-up award.

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